Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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No, Trinidad.

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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women's rights

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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