What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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I'm sn otter

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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