A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Women's rights

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops