Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

You and your parents are going to die today

A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

whats worse than a kane nothing

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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