What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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My parents have an open marriage.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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