What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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stuarts mum

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops