Women's rights

A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

Refrigerator

why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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