Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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Anti-joke.com

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If the black man lives in the black house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The white man. As unfortunate as it is, racism is still a very integral part of society, and the social dominance the white man holds in countries like America are not to be so quickly forgotten.

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Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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