What can make you pee? Liquid

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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your mother

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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