ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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