I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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charlie sheen losing

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A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Donkey lips

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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Autism speaks but not really

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops