A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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so... how about that airplane food

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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