What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

bish bash bosh giz a nosh

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops