What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops