So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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?J?o?k?e?

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops