Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

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Tunechi

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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the WNBA

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops