A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

thumb_up thumb_down +1

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This is not a joke or is it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

david your girlfriend has a nice ass

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops