What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Whats funnier than 24.....25

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops