Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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