my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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why did arno fly away? he was a bird

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

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a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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