Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

1,2,3,4,5... 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I killed someone on minecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops