This is not an anti joke.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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acualy is dolan

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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Jimmy Saville

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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