Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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whats good about poland... fukk all

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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You see how lame this is?

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops