Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops