4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +12

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I just can't stand sitting down!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Look how far I can kick this bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops