A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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gay marriage.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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