A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

thumb_up thumb_down -13

*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Penisland

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops