What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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knock knock. come in.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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