An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +10

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Rachel not blowing Robert.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops