What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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