Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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A mans opinion.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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Wade

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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