your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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penis

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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