there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +49

"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What isn't funny? The holacost.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops