What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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