What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Membean

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

child labor

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops