A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lil Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

thumb_up thumb_down -13

This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops