They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

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A homosexual walks into a church

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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