What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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chuck norris

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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