Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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