Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

irish wristwatch JLR

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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