R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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hipsters

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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I had sex with my mother in law

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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