What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

A white guy, a hispanic guy, and asian, a black guy, a philipiean guy, and a wait what am i doing?

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

I ponder

where wally? wallys a myth.

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

The BCS

A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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