Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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Why did the jew die Really...

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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Snausages.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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