Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wanna here a joke??? read below...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's 9 plus 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops