What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops