Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Pokemon go: Team mystic

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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Your Mom's sooo fat that when she jumps into a pool her splash attack does damage :P

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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