What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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roses are red violets are blue im colorblind how about you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Please Rape William Wright

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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Woman's Rights

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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