what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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I need a good anti joke....

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Barack Obama

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Why do gay guys like push pops? Because they are a delicious lollipop treat.

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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