What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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Your Mom.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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penus

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops