What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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The BCS

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Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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Stephen Walking.

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Dylan is a person

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

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A disabled man walks into a bar.

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Barack Obama

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I need a good anti joke....

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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