what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Yes!

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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YOU

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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