what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

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Women Driving.

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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captcha: all yer base

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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Women's rights.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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whats black? a black man

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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