How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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knock knock come in

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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A walrus walks into a bar

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops